All the while i thought i might get rid of this feelings.. But , it came back again. It is inside my mind. The feeling is pain. Every morning once i wake up the first thing i do is .. Sitting infront of the mirror and look at myself.. look at my face... It looks tired and at the same time i feel pain in my heart. Whats wrong with me again ? There's something .... there's really got something.. it just i dont know how to express myself.. I feel helpless and i dont know where to start from. What should i do... Talking to friends is a good way .. but it just, i dont feel like telling them. I dont feel like disturbing them.. They're busy enough.. Family ? impossible.. they will worry about me ...
The purpose im writing here.. i need your advise.. Nowadays , i had a really bad dream... This is the first time and i woke up.. My tears kept on rolling down...I cried. I know something will happen. I'm scared..
Sitting at the balcony, i think of my past. Everything changed. Now , i feel like im just living alone. I dont feel like sharing. I wish to be shared but... i feel insecure.
I felt sorry for what i did in my past. Sorry for hurting someone that i love... sincerely apologize... but im forced to do that. It just because of this, i cant forgive myself.. I feel guilty.. i feel pain.. i hate this feeling.. But it just like a reminder for me.. it haunted me for a long time.. ........
really scared.........
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January 6, 2010
January 3, 2010
Chinese New Year
HmM~~ i dont think im able to have a long holiday for my CNY... Office need people.. :S
I wish to go back home, miss my parents so muchie...... :S and im the only one who gonna stay in the officeeeeee..... with my manager and the malay staffss... arrgghhh~! so unfair... huh!
I wish to go back home, miss my parents so muchie...... :S and im the only one who gonna stay in the officeeeeee..... with my manager and the malay staffss... arrgghhh~! so unfair... huh!
January 1, 2010
2010
Happy New Year 2010 everyone.. !!
It is already 2010.. Should i change everything to new one? hahaha... jk..
Anyways, I will be using my new lovely leather diary, which is in Pink colour , made from Korea. :) Everything is in Korean words.. But, yeah.. I dont understand at all.. But at least i get new of them.. hahaha... Thanks for my lovely "friend" to send me this as my Christmas gift.
It is already 2010.. Should i change everything to new one? hahaha... jk..
Anyways, I will be using my new lovely leather diary, which is in Pink colour , made from Korea. :) Everything is in Korean words.. But, yeah.. I dont understand at all.. But at least i get new of them.. hahaha... Thanks for my lovely "friend" to send me this as my Christmas gift.
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