The New Begining

It is the year of 2011, a brand new start for me but it has been a long time i didnt update my blog for the year of 2011.. ..

My responsibilities for this year are quite big..*cold sweat* .. Time has changed, is time to grow up and have own commitment for life.. I just dont know why i used to rely on somebody, like friends.... i just dont like to be alone...

It has been like 64 days, things still the same. What can i do to make me feel better ? the way i think ? or the things i do ? Wish to share with someone, but i just dont know how to speak up. I dont want to lose control again. Things aint easy to forget, especially the time that we spent together, tears kept on rolling in my eyes.. I'm not a perfect girl and not a perfect gf. I cant do things well to satisfy him. I'm not a rich as her, i'm not as clever as her, i'm not a beautiful girl as her. I never blame him, i just hate myself for being so ugly for him.

People criticized him in front of me.. My heart feel pain.. Keep telling myself that he is a good guy. he did care, he did guide me, he taught me alot of things, he helped me when im in trouble...The places that we went, the food that we ate, the drinks that we love to drink and the Teddy bear that we used to fight for hugs during night time , the laughter between us, the words that we love to write and speak... i just miss him...

Mr Tom is the first gift. He is sweet, He listened to my words every night before i go to bed. He always keep his smile on his face and cheer me up during the night. From the bottom of my heart, i miss him again and again... How long it gonna takes to forget someone that you love ? someone that you used to be with ? They dont know how you feel until they really fall in love.

People said : A break up is like a broken mirror. It is better to leave it broken than hurt yourself to fix it... The world is beautiful, i believe i can have a better life after all...

* Pray from the bottom of my heart*


The lil bear...