The Man I love doesnt love me. ...

Question from Serene :

“ I dont understand why someone would say they love you, and ask you to move in with them and talk about marriage, but then instead of simply saying I dont want to go out with you anymore - he just ignores me. Twice now. After the first time when he came back i made him wait and work hard to gain my trust back and he has just thrown it back at me. Why on earth cant he just be honest with me instead of blanking me?”

Replied , Natalie :

I don't know what this man is playing at. He could be playing a game with your emotions or he could simply be confused and scared of commitment and when you get too close, he has to back off. Whatever the reason, this is no good for you and you need to end it now.

This guy sounds like he has some problems and he's putting these on you. Please don''t allow this to continue, you need to get strong again and move on from this. How can you love someone who hurts you so badly? I know we've all been there and we all get through it in the end but you need to take the first steps to getting your life back on track.

You need to tell him whatever you both had is over and he is not to contact you again. You need to spend time on your own, getting to know you again and building back up the girl you were before all this, as some of that person has probably fallen by the wayside. We have to understand we may not ever understand why they do things. But if something is going on that causes you discomfort you should not allow it to go on. We cannot allow them to run into and out of our lives because if something is meant to be it will.
I know it can be hard when you love someone but this is just dragging you in deeper and deeper and it's not fair on either of you. Please seek some help if you need it, to build your confidence back up and make sure this man is out of your life for good so you can move forward.

Stay Strong and Good Luck.

Natalie

….Personal Story by Natalie...

I still remember the date, the time, the place... In a blink of any eye, It had been 3 years. I asked him to tell me the truth. That if he doesn't love me, he should just say it. It took him at least a half hour, and he kept crying. At one point he even said "Why do you think it's so hard for me to say it?" "Because you don't want to hurt me." "That's not it!" and I thought.. I thought that he was going to tell me he loved me. But a few minutes later he finally did it. "I don't love you,___" And I was crushed. I still am.. but another part of me still thinks he's hiding it. Once a guy had changed, it is difficult to pull him back to you again. I believe in this. Until he come back to you , it will be not the same feelings anymore.

The Boyfriend that Every Girl Would Want.

A Perfect Lover that i wish to have. :D
Who is The Right one for me ?

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When you break her heart
[ the pain NEVER really goes away ]

When she misses you
[ she's hurting inside ]

When she says its over
[ she STILL wants you to be hers ]

When she re-posts this bulletin
[ she wants you to read it ]

When she walks away from you mad
[ Follow her]

When she stare's at your mouth
[ Kiss her ]

When she pushes you or hit's you
[ Grab her and don’t let go ]

When she starts cursing at you
[ Kiss her and tell her you love her ]

When she ignores you
[ Give her your attention]

When she pulls away
[ Pull her back ]

When you see her at her worst
[ Tell her she's beautiful ]

When you see her start crying
[Just hold her and don’t say a word ]

When you see her walking
[ Sneak up and hug her waist from behind ]

When she's scared
[ Protect her ]

When she lays her head on your shoulder
[ Tilt her head up and kiss her ]

When she steals your favorite hat
[ Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night]

When she teases you
[ Tease her back and make her laugh ]

When she doesn’t answer for a long time
[ reassure her that everything is okay ]

When she looks at you with doubt
[ Back yourself up with the TRUTH]

When she says that she likes you
[ she really does more than you could understand ]

When she grabs at your hands
[ Hold hers and play with her fingers ]

When she bumps into you
[ bump into her back and make her laugh ]

When she tells you a secret
[ keep it safe and untold ]

When she looks at you in your eyes
[ don’t look away until she does ]

- Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything

-DON'T let her have the last word

-DON'T call her hot, but gorgeous or beautiful is soo much better

- Say you love her more than she could ever love you

- Argue that she is the best girl ever

- When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go

- When she says she's OK don’t believe it, talk with her because 10 yrs later she'll remember you

- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her

- Call her before you sleep and after you wake up

- Treat her like she's all that matters to you

- Tease her and let her tease you back

-Stay up all night with her when she's sick

- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid

- Give her the world

- Let her wear your clothes

- When she's bored and sad, hang out with her

- Let her know she's important

- Kiss her in the pouring rain

- When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;

"Who's ass am I kicking today baby?"



Natalie

I Just Want to Meet The Right Person

Questions :
"Sometime i wil think that "W hat the hell is the matter with me.... I dont know , perhaps i am shy, perhaps i have a low self esteem, perhaps i am the most ugliest and hideous person ever . You will never know how much i long for someone to share my day with , to sharte my life experiences , and to laugh with. Many people i meet are shallow , they only look on the outside and not the real person . i guess i am doomed to be alone , its hard to face -lonelyness "


Replied , Natalie :
Come on sweetie.. I'm sure you aren't the most ugly, hideous person ever. If everyone you meet only looks at the outside, you need to find a new place to meet people!! I've felt that way for the longest time and still do quite often. I suspect that you have the same problem as me, a problem loving yourself. If you start to love yourself and care less what others think of you, you will see good results. No matter what anybody says or thinks about you, it should not change the most important love of all which is self love. Love yourself first, and then you'll become more open to loving experiences from others. not everyone is shallow. I used to think this too, but I've come to realize that most of the non-superficial just aren't overly vocal about it, so you'd have no idea unless you got to know them.

There are no hideous and ugly person as i believe, GOD created us equally. And if u think that ur ugly, maybe im ugly too. not having someone by ur side doesnt mean that your ugly. it means its not the right time yet for you to have someone....Just wait and dont loose hope, am sure right time will come.. and right person. Just think that there's no ugly person in the world, not you, not me, nor anybody...believe in urself, love urself, and most of all believe in GOD...he will give u strength and self confidence. as well as he will give someone to love u.. just like my man whom GOD gave to me...

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Here are some tips for successful dating. - If you need it.. lol...

• Plan your date in advance. Find out what the other person likes to do and Plan something fun that you will both enjoy.
• The first date should give you a chance to talk and get to know each other. It is better to make some jokes... But not too Over Pls... :D
• Don’t go to a movie! Nothing much you guys can do in the cinema, wasted your 2 hours . Just go for coffee or a drink at a local wine bar. Cheers~
• Keep the conversation light. Don’t talk about your problems or your ex. Thts ridiculous.. LOL
• Be positive and have a good sense of humour. Everyone likes to be with someone who is fun. Lighten up and have a good time.
• Be punctual.
• Don’t talk on your cell phone. ( He/She will be not happy )
• Don’t talk about yourself all night.... Bla Bla Bla... Ask your date questions and be a good listener. It shows that you are interested.




Nat

Would a korean guy marry a girl who didn't speak much korean?

Thanks - Jammie, Yon, Hyuen.

I would like to answer ..

IT is the Heart that really matters, not the language. THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS LOVE will draw them both together. The rest is up to our Imagination. LOVE is BEAUTIFUL! ^^ I am very happy for couples to pair off in different cultures & languages and they still are so much in Love with one another. Wow. that is really AMAZING LOL!

Strenghtening A Relationship Between Peopleof Different Cultures

Having a romantic relationship with someone takes a lot of work. Though a relationship with someone of a different culture is very common, as more and more people cross borders and work in other countries, this kind of setup is something that you would want to think about, since it involves a lot of issues. Maybe you are in love with a partner who has a different cultural background, but it doesn't really matter much to you.

If you are really in love with your partner, First thing you must understand your partner's culture. Whatever cultural background your partner has, you just have to get to know it better. It may be more than the getting-to-know-you process, but your partner will definitely appreciate it if you spend time and effort to find your way into his or her roots.
Secondly, wouldn't it be great if you can meet your partner's family? You can actually learn so much about your partner by meeting the very important people in his or her life. It is also a way of getting your good intentions across to your partner. It might also be an enriching experience to spend some time with them. But we cant expect too much, when you are having a long distance relationship, how oftenly you can go to your partner's house and meet their parents? unless both of you really think of marriage.

Communication is vital to all kinds of relationships. Talk things out with your partner. Tell your partner about your feelings toward the relationship, whether good or bad. Tell him or her all about your fears and hopes. Language barriers may also be a challenge. Think of different ways of reaching out to your partner. Learning a new word of his or her language a day is sweet. You don't need to be fluent at once. Remember, action speaks louder than words. As i mentioned my previous blog, korean man usually wont share their feelings towards their partner. It will reflect that it is their weakness. I'm still attracted by Korean. I'm trying hard to undertsand what they really think about.. However, not all korean are like that.

You might have come from different backgrounds so disagreements will always pop out every now and then. As you learn to accept each other's differences, you should always know how to respect your partner. Depending on how you handle your differences, acceptance will always be the key.

Doesn't really sound like the cultural difference is the issue.The issue is not between Korean men and caucasian women it's between a man and a woman.Why would anyone want to be with someone they can't get along with? You can love someone but it doesn't mean that you need to marry them. You might want to try a "trial separation" and honestly determine if life is better without them. You might want to date another Korean man who you do get along with.Good Luck

Long Distance Relationship with Korean Men

I think for most people, long distance relationships are just unthinkable and too difficult and expensive to manage. They might involve ome sacrifice and extra effort and lack of e.g. a physical hug at the right moment can be hard. However, if managed in the right way, the long distance relationship can be keep a relationship fresh, and of course you have the advantage of remaining in comtrol your independent life while hopefully having the support of your partner when you need it.

I have few korean friends. Most of them are so egotism which we called it as "Big Man" . Most few of them are not. I tried to understand the mind of Korean males from Korea. I kept asking myself, is it me or they all non-emotional? I have friends who preferring to date"white"( i would say "westernized") men becasue they tend to be treated better. A westernized boyfriend/husband therefore provides an escape route from the constraints of their culture. Hence the korean men in particular may behave in ways which appear awkward, emotionally dysfunctional or rather self-centered.

I have a friend who dates with korean men. They are very controlling of their gf/wife. They do not like it when other guys stare at "their property". Yet , they can flirt with girls in front of their girlfriends as if nothing is wrong with that. I find this childish. But at the same time i am attracted to them. Not for their bad habits,but for their good habits. Korean and Western culture do seem to contradict one another. These different cultures are like the same poles of two magnets towards each other. But if you move the magnets around a bit, turning and such, they eventually cant resist the attraction. Relationships can be headaches.. even two people of the same nationally will attest to that. Culture differences can throw another kink in the gears,true,but so can alot of other things.

We are also human beings in this planet and deserve equal treatment, respect, love as much as every korean. The world is changing and we are more closer to each other than we where 10 years ago. Although we have different culture, our basic human needs and wants are still the same. Let us open our minds and hearts to one another and respect each other in every way. People from different backgrounds, color, belief, can find happiness together as long as they are bonded with respect, honesty and trust from each other.