Last day for 2009

Yayay~!! Today is the last day for 2009...

I would like to say that In this year 2009 , There's alot of bad things happen to me. It was making me up and down. Between the month of September till Nov, It was my worst chapters. It's driving me craziiee.. Feeling sorry to my friends and family which makes me them feel worry about me. At the same time, i would like to say thank you , because they always taking care of me... Guide me to the opposite ways.. Without you guys, i would not be able to stay longer.

Today is 31/12/2009, im in my office and i have to update all my follow ups... It will be a lil busy than usual. But im okay with it.. :) Tonight, im going to have a new year eve dinner with my girls. Hope tonight will be a great night for me... :)

My dream for 2010 ,First, I wan to be attached.. hahahhahaha........ i dont want to celebrate a lonely valentines' day again and again.... :S... God please give me some LUCK... hahahahha... :P
Second, i wish to have some improvements again in my career. :) Third, My lovely family... happy go lucky like usual.. hahahaha... stay healthy and happy.. :)

Wish you all a Happy New Year... 2010 ..


Natalie

Xmas day

Just because of christmas day, this week I ate too much.it is crazily a lot. I feel so guilty about it. But I had a really great time with ma best sisters. Drink drink drink eat eat eat . This is what I do for this week. So today is christmas day, wish everyone a merry christmas and happy new year.

Mum and dad, stay healthy and I love you all so much. God bless you.


Nat

She is just another playa ... Guess who is she ?

Come on girls , All you have to do is be a player yourself, how?

Well, you have to play hard to get. Guys whos are players are not easy to trap because they know they have other options or other bitches as they call them, so they aint gonna waste your time with you if you dont show them you are interesting.
The best way to get their attention is to show them you are smart , players love girls who are smart because they love that challenge, so make him challenge you and all that time while he is being challenged he will spend more time with you and will get to know you more, the more time you spend together, the more closer he gets to you if you want make a guy who you think its a player.

Make him yours, its not going to be easy but its possible.




Nat

I'm still remain the same as before..

Being a 3rd party is really bad, your wrecking a relationship. What if you’re on the shoes of the person being cheated on, how would you feel? We also have what we call "KARMA" .I’m sure you don’t wanna put yourself on that situation. Some clever people say that being a 3rd party is also a good thing to make the couple realize that they’re not meant for each other but that’s a lame excuse.

It’s better if you commit to a person who’s not taken yet just to make things legal. No one will be against the relationship, no hassles, complications and no guilt. You won’t be called a "BITCH" or "SLUT" ... you should also consider the status of the relationship even before the 3rd party came into the picture.. because if the relationship is smooth-sailing no one can get into it. meaning 3rd party does not have any place in the picture.. so before you blame other poeple you should take a look into your relationship. you can't just blame other poeple for your failure

Please Understand, i dont like the feeling of being a 3rd party because i dont like to share my love ones to others..... Can you feel me ? :(

It is easy to be heavy ; hard to be light.

If you truly want honesty, don't ask questions you don't really want the answer to

Lost

It is Sunday.. I wake up around 6am with no reason.. My brain was empty.. Covering myself with my blanket..Thinking nothing...

Checking through my mobile, there's nothing... not even a call, or message... :) it is kind of painful.. ahhhhh........

Honestly, i feel tired nowadays... mentally tired.. Not because of work, it just something disturbing me .. what is that ? I feel something bad gonna happen soon ?? hope not..

I want to have a long rest..i wish to sleep...

I'm sorry but i have to...

What i expected to be happen, finally it came.. Even thought it is a really terrible feeling but i done it.. and im really done with it and i made the choice for days.... I did something cruel to hurt someone that i love.. Feeling regret after doing it, but i have to ... i cant think of any other ways to solve it and i thought of this stupid idea and i hurted someone..

Happiness is not with me for a period of time , it had been in a hard time and it getting worst these days, getting depression all the time .. I'm out of mind.. I'm fine to be a bad person if it can make ones happy... What i can do is just Let the misunderstanding going on... what people think of me and so on... Sorry for being stupid, it just i have to....

i'm really afraid... God, am i doing the right thing ? i need your help..

The Truth hurts alot.

She is a forgotten soul
[ He doesn't talk to her as before ]
She is bleeding internally
[ He pierced her heart with a blade ]
She is dead mentally
[ He killed her with the truth ]
She was in love
[ He is the reason ]

I shouldn't start in the beginning...

“The truth that many people never understand, until it is too late, is that the more you try to avoid suffering the more you suffer because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you in proportion to your fear of being hurt”

Fear

Today is Monday.... hmm... i dont think i had a plan.. Just feel like staying at home makes me feel so good even though it is quite bored... lolx...

It is the time to make myself cool down and make my mind clear. I have to face the fact even though it is quite painful... Flash back all the memories, oh no~... thts difficult...but what can i do ? I think i need to rest.. feeling regret why this happen to me ... My heart is numb...totally no feeling at all..

"what are you doing now " i wish to ask... but how ? I cant see, i cant feel, i cant touch... far far away from me.... T.T

I wish to sleep ....sleep forever....


Nattie.

Devils of the 1st degree.. F you..

There's different kind of people in this world... I'm so unlucky to have few weird and naive friends around me which making my life so damn pissed off and so complicated... even your best friends did that, It is not the first time.... Last night was a terrible night for me, I felt so hopeless on them. Everyone thinks that i'm a bitch, But i dont give a shit at all.. Talking bad about people , back stabbing on someone ... this is how they treat me ... Is this called as friend ? Maybe yes , but for me <> i cant accept this ... I dont mind to lose a friend and i'm NOT DESERVE to have this kind of friend. I dont need them at all...

Try to be more mature in everything, Having FUN and getting SERIOUS is different thing.. If they still cant differenciate between this 2 words , is time to go back to school . Being a 21s , but still act like kid.. what the fuck right ??! Anywyas, IT wont affect my daily life.. I need to work , and i need to take care of my family .. I'm working hard to going on with my life.. I love my family so much , why should i care of all this kind of small things ..

If they think that it is part of their entertainment life, go ahead then.. Talk more and comment more... As long as you guys feel happy , i dont mind to be a clown.. :) because i used to be a "clown". It is not working if i keep on fighting verbally with them.. becasue if i keep on making myself clear , they still prefer to stand in the other side. So i give up, keeping myself silent doesnt mean that i'm guilty ... It just becuase i feel so so so damn shame on you guys if i do it..

I"M TRUST NOBODY ...

"JUst be cool and ignore" - Thanks for the words from sweetie... i will remember that... :P



Keep on moving Nat !!!

Letting you go

Today is another day again... 14/09/09... It will be my tough day too~ I feel like my mind is so numb now and my heart feel so cold... it is painful.. I try to touch my heart ,and my tears rolling down..... I thought im enough of crying .. but the feeling is so bad... I wish to tell someone how i feel.. But i dont know where to start with. I called my mum , im happy to hear her voice but i dont want to make her worry about me so i just keep for myself ... i called my sister, i lost control... i cried... But... i kept for myself again... I dont wish to disturb anyone ...

Sitting on the floor , staring at the corner, listening to the songs.. my hands feel cold ... Flashing back all the memories that we have been go through... my tears drop... Everything will be back as usual ... It hurts when you have someone in your heart but you cant have them in your arms.. Love hurts when you break up with someone and it hurts even more when someone break up with you or cheating on you .. Love hurts when the person you love doesnt know how you feel.. But Love hurts most when the person you love is happy with someone now... Trying not to miss you too much, trying to forget you .. trying to give up everything..... I'm letting you go , you can do what you want... You're free now....

Be tough on myself ... be strong... and be cool........ no matter how sad am i , the ending will be the same.......................




Love,
Nat

Nothing... but Love

Here I sit on my bed thinking about all the things that I´ve been through ,there were times where I never thought I get to where I got to ... I need an angel to guide me, someone to lay on...
I could hold on to pain but that isnt what my life´s about and I'm not blaming nobody if I ain´t got my stuff worked out ... I got love for my self, and im not gonna regret anything I´ve done ....

Counting Down The Days

Every time when I'm standing in front of the mirror, I saw you.. You're there for 5 seconds and you disappeared. I smiled.. Looking at my face, my eyes.. they seems really tired and pain...I touched my eyes with my fingers, it was so warm and pain..Fingers feel the tears and i started to cry silently in my room.. It is hard to breath... Trying to take a long deep breath, but heart started to bleed at the same time.

Counting down the days.. but can i stop it ? I hate looking at the calendar... But i remember the date.. It makes me feel so pain ...


gloomy...


Natalie

Bad Depression

Today 3/09/09 .. It is the hardest moment i have right now.... I dont know what to do and i dont know where should i headed to.... I just cant share what i feel now. Looking at the mirror, the girl inside the mirror is crying. I brushes my teeth by looking at the mirror, tears falls down. My heart feels pain. Being an actor to be looking cool, it is hard... But i have to learn ... Everyone says, crying might make you feel better. I did it when im alone. I dont wish to let someone knows what i'm going through..

What i feel, I really thanks God for giving me a precious memory which i had dream for a long time. But it doesnt last long, at least i tried.
Time passes so fast, everything going to back as usual.. Tears getting dry when i see myself in the mirror.. My eyes, my nose, my lips.... being touched warmly... The places we went , the food that we ate , the moment that we spent , the movie that we watched ... between you and me will be always in my mind..

God , please give me some strength to go through this situation.. I need YOU.




Natalie..... 3/9/09

How to Love a Man Successfully ?

If you do this then this will eventually turn him away from you and if you really love this man you do not want that. Learn what his favorite foods are and cook for him. Be an INDEPENDENT woman because men don't like women who are always "needy". Most men are really sensitive so don't be so quick to bash him, embrace him.

A lot of women have the tendency of judging a man by his flaws instead of his good attributes. Doing this will get you no where especially if he's a really good man who has only a few down falls. Keep people out of your relationship. When you demonstrate that you are happy, people (family too) like to tear you down because misery loves company. Learn to be a catering woman.

That does not mean you have to go running to him every time he calls but a man loves a woman who will have his back when he needs her to. Some men are very funny acting as in when they are upset they do not like to be bothered, just allow him to calm down then he will come to you when he's ready.

Do not chase him, if you do that then you may scare him away and you do not want that. In a sense men are like babies and need to be pampered and nurtured. In closing, love your man the way you want him to love you and I guarantee you will have happiness.

Natalie 16/08/09

Why Do Men Cheat In A Relation?

The reason why men cheat is very different from the reason why women cheat.
It can be the result of genetics, self esteem, competition or lack of interest in the relationship they have with their current partner.
Well, all these reasons cannot be called 100% correct or credible. But, they can give a very clear cut idea about it.

Some guys are very susceptible as they have a very high level of testosterone in their bodies. Hence, they have greater level of sexual desire.

However, a lot of men have a very high level of sexual desire but nobody can claim that it is the only reason for being unfaithful with their spouse.
This reason sounds weird but it becomes a reason worth noticing at times.

Another reason is that men cheat due to the sense of challenge in them.
Men like challenges. So, they feel it challenging to attract other women also and just to satisfy their ego, they become unfaithful to their partner.
Getting girls everyday is like a matter of prestige for some men. They take it like a challenge and do it to fan their ego.

Sometimes, it is just the wish to have sex with many women that drives them crazy and compel them to become unfaithful.

Men, sometimes, cheat because people around them have a tendency to cheat and they learn it from these people. These people are their friends who go around with many women and feel that they are smart enough to attract women! These friends force them to compete and prove their worth.

However, there are no fixed rules for it but understanding the problem helps us a lot to solve it.

Natalie

Life of single

While it may seem that there are happy couples everywhere, a single teen may feel very lonely and depressed at times. It is important to keep things in perspective. Teenagers must deal with several stressful events, such as huge hormonal changes, pressure to perform well in school and family responsibility. While it may seem that happy couples are everywhere; it is important to remember that each person in that couple was single before they met each other. In addition, they may single again in a year, a month or a day from now. Being single can have it good points. It can allow a person to concentrate on areas of their life that may be ignored if spending a lot of time with another person. A teen can focus on sports, studying, hobbies and friends. A teenager should never feel pressure to date or be in a relationship simply because others are doing so. Everyone is different and must live in the way that is best for them. No one remains single forever. There is a match for everyone; it is simply a matter of time.

Being single can have its ups and downs, and people can lose confidence in themselves, but people have to pursue the career of their lives so they can increase their confidence. This is something that I had to learn.



Natalie.

Relationships and Age Difference...

A lot of people may say that age is a state of mind, that a person is only as old as they feel. That is an upbeat and optimistic approach to aging; however the question is if that applies when it comes to relationships. It has quite often been acceptable for a male to be the older person in a relationship. Some issues can arise if the opposite happens; a younger man and an older woman. In addition, there can be some issues as well, if the male is many years older than the female. It is possible to have a secure and loving relationship in which there is an age difference, if both people involved understand certain issues that may arise and they can work together to resolve them. One dynamic that can make or break a relationship is the common ground that you share with the other person. Most people will undoubtedly get along with someone who has similar interests and hobbies. A night owl versus a morning bird will certainly not be in sync with each other. The same theory holds true for interests. While it is healthy to have some of your own personal interests, it is very helpful to the relationship that you share time together doing things that you both enjoy. Think about whether the age difference will affect activities done together; whether they be hiking, skiing or watching movies, these times spent together will keep the relationship strong. Most importantly, if you and your partner feel you are right for each other, age will not matter. We all begin our quest for love as young adults and we live with the intention of holding strong into our senior years. If two people are lucky enough people find each other, it usually will not matter at which point in life they do so. When it comes to love, age is just a number.



Natalie
Natalie